Merry Christmas, please don't call.
24 sad Christmas songs for your deepest Grinch affinities...
*Before we begin, just a little caveat to say I’m publishing two posts in such quick succession only because it’s Christmas—don’t go on expecting this level of consistency of me, now!
Every December without fail, I break out my trusty, dusty playlist of the saddest, most heartbreaking Christmas songs during my family’s annual putting-up of the tree. There’s nothing quite like a little cursive crooning to violin to set the Yuletide scene between bickers of whether the fairy lights are supposed to go on before or after the baubles, after all. (The correct answer is after, by the way).
And every year without fail, my mother is groaning before we’re barely three songs in, begging for the grace of Ms. Mariah Carey or something a little more upbeat. It's always the “dead people music” with me, she laments, a label (derogatory) that has persisted since bygone tumblr-era days of blasting Lana Del Rey and Lorde in the early 2010s. And each time, I oblige, if only because I’m not one to stand in the way of festive cheer.
Hear me out, though. There is a case to be made for melancholic Christmas music. And I say this as an immense, non-religious Christmas fan who starts anticipating festivities from at least three months prior.
It goes without saying that the holiday season cuts both ways—heralding the highest of highs and lowest of lows. Many don’t have the fortune of being physically close to the ones they hold most dear to their centres, whether momentarily or not. In many ways, it is a time of yearning—in the luckier moments this takes the merciful shape of aspiration or nostalgia, but in others it can be destabilising in the most uncontrollable of ways. So often holidays feel like unspoken checkpoints, which can be a beast to reckon with in moments of inevitable change. Amid the cold (or the wet, if you’re in Singapore), ache tends to rear its ugly head.
Others are amid some of the hardest moments of their lives, and it can be immensely fracturing and punishing to feel like you’re deviating from joy during a season of the year (whether you celebrate any particular holiday or not) that seems to mandate it with such insistence. The capitalist sheen of the whole affair doesn’t help, either, what with the streets flooded with glitter, reindeer ears and jarring sounds of merriment. Sometimes, all we crave is a good old themed, tragic tune.
For others still, the holidays are not something they can even begin to reckon with amid the grief or, sometimes, horror of everyday life as they know it. This is all the more urgent in a moment in time where violence, cruelty and pillaging continues to pervade—and so, do consider extending the giving spirit to the following communities and organisations that could do with the extra help.
Gaza relief: civilians continue to be killed in strikes, including in refugee camps, and denied water and many basic supplies. Israel also recently ordered the closure of one of Gaza’s last (barely) functioning hospitals. Winter is here and Palestinians are poorly-equipped to defend against the cold and the wet, let alone the relentless violence. Some places to help:
World Wildlife Fund: WWF
There are also a bunch of very accessible volunteering opportunities under WWF, if that is something you might be interested in during the New Year (and if you are based in SG)—both more remote-based, such as illegal wildlife cyberspotters (though you’ll need to attend 1-2 physical training sessions !), and more hands-on, such as wildlife censures/ biodiversity monitoring. Do note that you have to sign a contract to be a volunteer first (it’s a very simple process)!
In support of migrant workers in Singapore: ItsRainingRaincoats
They’re doing a Christmas drive till 16 Jan (both monetary and item-based; you can also drop off wrapped gifts)! Some items they’re looking for include toiletries, portable fans, tiger balm, dry food and reusable water bottles.
Also, for those who don’t celebrate Christmas—I feel like sad Christmas music is the perfect present to gift yourself; not quite aggressively festive tunes, but still solid indie finds by fabulous artists that are immensely applicable to so many other non-Christmas specific occasions: heartbreak, loss, nostalgia, loneliness, and that one prying relative you can’t seem to get out of your hair.
And so, in the absence of a more appreciative captive audience in my family and in the spirit of giving, here are 24 of my favourite depressing Christmas songs (unranked!)—befitting of a good little weep into a slice of log cake (or brussels sprouts, if you hate veggies).
Take this as a little advent calendar, if you will—with an extra little bonus gift for Christmas Day if you hang on till the very end:
24 of my favourite heartbreaking Christmas tunes:
Lewis Watson - christmas eve alone this year
Starting off strong with the sad Christmas song to end all sad Christmas songs—I was fortunate enough to first hear this the day before its release on a cold night in December 2018, London, at one of the coziest gigs (consisting of an Avengers-esque line up of Lewis Watson, Orla Gartland, Gabrielle Aplin, and the like), at Union Chapel, with S, one of my lovely first friends from uni. It was the first of many Christmases away from home, I was staying in a prettyy grim hall off Camden, and it’s said that that winter was one of London’s stormiest in recent times. Hearing this song fresh and live tugged hard at my shivering and somewhat homesick core. I’m grateful that some of the best Christmases I’ve had since have been away from home, and this holiday season marks one of my first few since moving back, but this song will always speak to the small, lonely and freshly-unmoored girl at a Christmas gig in Islington who took forever to learn how to dress for the weather.
Sharon van Etten - Blue Christmas
One of the most iconic Xmas downers, first sung, of course, by Elvis. All praise to the King of Rock n Roll, but Sharon van Etten’s rich tone brings a textured melancholy to the song that makes this version especially heartbreaking and wistful.
The Growlers - Lonely This Christmas
Another cover, and one of my favourite Christmas songs ever. Brooks Nielsen’s ever-recognisable voice is the perfect mix of growl (haha) and whine here, and the track is peppered with ad libs that really complete the drunken, grinchy rockstar vibe. I especially love his snarky take on the spoken bridge, complete with an emphatic “hyaaaah karate chop”.
Stella Donnelly - Seasons Greetings
Bit controversial, whether this one really counts as a Christmas song (won’t be the last one on this list, either). But this is the perfect, niche song for that annoying/ misogynistic/ right-wing uncle you might have to put up with over the holidays, complete with a hilariously cathartic series of “fuck off”s during the outro.
Haley Blais - Auld Lang Syne
The Original Bittersweet Ballad of the holidays, cheers to the Scots. Haley Blais (who is ridiculously underrated!) performs a version that is woefully ethereal against a beautifully arranged set of strings, finishing it off with harmonies that’ll make you ascend straight into the new year.
Jimmy Kimmel and The Killers - Joel the Lump of Coal
Now that’s a pairing you don’t see everyday. This rock carol, to my family’s absolute grief come Christmastime (“stop singing that stupid Joel song, Jie”), is a witty riot of an earworm about a lump of coal (named Joel) that, beyond the ostensible banter, is really a banger about redemption and finding love and the good no matter the circumstances. (Jimmy Kimmel’s video about the tune’s creation is also a great laugh and worth checking out.)
Adrianne Lenker - Snow Song
Again, it’s debatable whether this one can be fully categorised as a Christmas song, but this soft, folksy ballad feels supremely crystalline, like poetry set to a swirl of snow on Christmas morning. Lenker is ever the songbird—nothing but consistent: her astute imagery brims with a shivering sorrow.
Sufjan Stevens - Did I Make You Cry on Christmas Day? (Well, You Deserved It!)
Sufjan is unquestioningly the reigning King of sad Christmas; most of his discography already sounds vaguely festive and brooding, and so he’s the perfect candidate for this, really. 2006’s Songs for Christmas and 2012’s Silver and Gold are treasure troves and could easily fill this entire listicle front to back, but if I had to pick one, it would be this slightly obnoxious track that straddles Sufjan’s classic sound and Christmassy (complete with sleigh bells) perfectly.
Phoebe Bridgers - 7 O’Clock News/Silent Night (ft. Fiona Apple and Matt Berninger)
If Sufjan is the King of Christmas Sad, Phoebe Bridgers must be the Queen of Holiday Grief. She’s made a bit of a tradition out of releasing one sad Christmas tune yearly since 2017 (though the run, alas, seemed to stop last year)—her discography is peppered with delightfully melancholic season’s grievings as a result. It was a toss up between her stripped down cover of Merle Haggard’s If We Make It Through December and this, but her modern take on Simon and Garfunkel’s classic, with a characteristically-Bridgers rendition of Silent Night juxtaposed against a distorted radio read-out of the year’s headlines by Berninger (with references to the murder of Botham Jean by a white officer, Roe v. Wade and Trump’s impeachment case, among others), takes the (fruit) cake for cutting through the consumerist glimmer of Christmas to its sincere core—of giving, and of holding the aching, the vulnerable, and the ones we have failed.
Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal
Can’t quite claim to be an indie music blog without including this one, can I? A reverent seasonal classic and arguably the Fleet Foxes’ biggest hit, this song is always on rotation for me from September till February, even now, in the sweaty throng of Singapore. It’s rhythmic, cozy, and feels like a steaming mug of tea on a snow day.
Maple Glider - Mama It’s Christmas
Familial grief is foregrounded here as the Australian singer wonders whether her struggling brother will be home for the holidays. Maple Glider’s airily arresting vocals almost mask the sheer devastation of the song.
Ella Fitzgerald - What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?
Fitzgerald’s ache-filled classic is the pinnacle of all sad holiday songs: a jazzy yearning for the heartbroken and the left-behind—a centrepiece for the lonely ages.
Taylor Swift - ‘tis the damn season
One of my personal favourites off of Ms. Swift’s discography and the one song that made me shed a tear (Or a few. Perhaps a copious amount.) during the famed Eras Tour. A song about coming home for the holidays and realising that, amid a world of vast self-centeredness, carelessness and pretension, there’s no one who is quite as pure and who knows and loves you as relentlessly as your oldest friend(s) from your hometown. “The road not taken looks real good now”cuts like a carving knife.
Mazzy Star - Quiet, The Winter Harbor
Indie’s eternal darling is equal parts haunting and soothing in her 2018 piano ballad as she endeavours towards closeness with her romantic interest, befitting of the prettiest song title. I think of A24’s Past Lives when I hear this, for some reason; picture Greta Lee’s Nora letting out a visible breath of cold air during a moment of solitude under the tree on Christmas morning, thinking of, well, roads not taken.
Julia Jacklin - baby jesus is nobody’s baby now
If I had a dollar for every time an Australian indie singer-songwriter on this list sang about trying to get an insufferable uncle to shut his mouth during Christmas dinner, I’d have two dollars. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.
LCD Soundsystem - christmas will break your heart
This punky ballad gets bonus points for being extra Christmassy with the sleigh bells and the ¾ time signature. It’s deceptively slow-burny and wallowy, before reaching a cathartic, shouting crescendo fit for shouting from chimneys.
Joni Mitchell - River
River is one of my all-time favourites and a quintessential Christmastime tune. The piano is simply ethereal, and the Queen of Songwriting effortlessly captures the frosty, guilt-ridden essence of wanting to be anywhere but here during the holidays.
Remi Wolf - Last Christmas
This groovy, almost tropical take on the Original Christmas Heartbreak creates a little cheeky cognitive dissonance, landing somewhere between Kokomo and the North Pole. Perfect for sweltering Christmases and island girlies like yours truly.
Rostam - Fairytale of New York (Recorded at Spotify Studios)
Fairytale of New York is THE Christmas carol for me—nostalgic, bittersweet and folksy. While the Pogues (recently learned the band name after a shameful missed point during a Christmas-themed pub quiz…) are iconic on the original, I’m also veryy partial to Rostam’s atmospheric Spotify Studio cover (with COSHA on Kirsty MacColl’s bit). Feels like warmth spreading to the farthest corners of your limbs after the first gulp of a pint.
Dr. Dog - Oh My Christmas Tree
Dr. Dog’s characteristic, almost-whiny sound is perfect for Yuletide wallows, and the band dedicates this one thoughtfully to the crucial yet often overlooked star of Christmas, the humble Christmas Tree.
The Staves - Home Alone, Too
I first got onto this song because of Dash & Lily, the watching of which has become somewhat of a Christmas tradition now. You realise that part of why holidays can be so heartbreaking is the fragmentation of tradition and ritual—having to see/eat/watch the same things you do every year in the absence of someone you love, or not even being able to do the things at all. The Staves capture the precise feeling on here with gorgeous, coalescing harmonies.
Everything But The Girl - 25th December
A beautifully-written, cozy 90s ballad on family and regret, Ben Watt takes the lead for the duo here, meditating on the effects of time passing—often indiscernible till it’s standing at your front door, fully-formed and drenched . “And I never, no I never ever realized” makes for a crushing refrain.
A Charlie Brown Christmas - Christmas Time is Here
Charlie Brown and the peanuts gang own melancholy during the holidays, and A Charlie Brown Christmas is certified one of the top Christmas films of all time. You can fight me on that.
The Bleachers - Merry Christmas, Please Don’t Call
The impetus for this listicle, really—this sombre song has taken a corner of the online sphere by snowstorm, and it’s no wonder: anything the Bleachers touches turns into echoey, synth-laden nostalgia. Antonoff and band first teased the song a good two years back during a bunch of live shows, and have finally released a studio-recorded version after deeming it Christmassy enough. Antonoff both mourns and yells good riddance to a cruel connection lost, flitting between subtle, history-induced affection and restrained anger. It’s a cathartic, wonderfully-produced song with incisive lyrics that almost anyone will be able relate and dance around to in their ugliest Christmas jumpers.
**Bonus: Goldstein - Kick the Balls (of Patriarchy) **
And finally… the gift of Christmas present !!! Do yourself a favour and give this one a thorough listen.
And if all that isn’t salve enough for you during the holidays, let me put you onto the next best thing (after a good cup of tea)… a hearty bowl of soup !
My personal recommendation for the holidays is a good ole potato and leek soup (my favourite recipe is this one). It’s an incredibly easy and affordable meal (*if you have a blender!) - just 4-5ish main ingredients, hearty and instantly soothing for any physical ailment or emotional turbulence.
And, in spite of all the talk of doom and gloom, I do hope that every person reading this has the most warming, nourishing holidays. And if not, put this playlist on, have a lie in and treat yourself to heaps of sweets and soup. Kinder things await in the new year.
Merry Chrysler, my sugarplums! <3